While there are people who have the tendency to attract the kind
of people who they want to be with, there are others who are not going
to be able to relate to this. As a result, this area of their lives is
likely to be radically different.
From the Outside
If one was to come across these kinds of people, it doesn't mean that they will be able to realise what category they fit into. For one thing, there is the chance that they will assume that their appearance will play an important part in how in what is taking place.
Therefore, if someone is attractive, they would believe that they generally end up with the right people. The people who are not attractive can then be seen as the ones who are unable to find the right people to be with.
Another Angle
It could be said that it is to be expected that they will have this outlook, and this is partly due to how much attention is given to how someone looks. There is often the assumption that one's relationships will be perfect if they work on their appearance.
Thus, if they look right this area of their life will go how one wants it to go, and if this doesn't happen, it's a sign that they need to change how they look. Even so, if one was to talk to these people and to put their assumptions to one side, they might soon find out that it is not this black and white.
Unexpected
They could start to see that even though someone looks good, it has absolutely no effect on what their relationships are like. It might make it easier for them to attract people, but that could be about as far as it goes.
Based on how they look, it can allow them to get their foot in the door, so to speak, but after this point, it could be as though their looks are overlooked. It is then going to be similar to how a child can be consumed by a new toy and then as time passes, they can end up leaving it outside.
Another Experience
If one was to speak to someone who wouldn't be classed as attractive, they could believe that their life would be different if they were. Now, there is a strong chance that it would make it easier for them to attract someone, but it is not going to be the answer to their problems.
They would only have to talk to someone who is attractive to understand this, and this might give them the chance to reflect on what they believe. At the same time, they might dismiss what they hear.
The Next Step
This could then cause them to look for a way to improve their appearance, and there is likely to be a number of things that they can do. As to what they do can all depend on how driven they are and on how much money they have.
For example, they could decide to join a gym, and this is going to mean that they will need to have the ability to delay gratification. It might not take long for them to see a difference, but it could take a while for them to transform their body.
A Process
Ultimately, what kind of condition their body is in and how long it takes for their body to respond will play a big part in this. If on the other hand, they were to have surgery; their appearance is likely to change a lot sooner.
And although they have put so much effort into this and/or spent a lot to change how they look, they could find that their life is no different. There will be the pain they experienced before, and the pain they now experience through not being able to change their circumstances.
One More Thing
If one does look good but their relationships are not as they would like them to be, they could decide to change their approach. Alternatively, they could believe that they need to work on their appearance.
This can then be seen as the same as when someone continues to put money into a business even though it is not going anywhere. There is no reason for them to behave in the same way, but as they are unable to detach from what is taking place, this is not going to matter.
The Reason
Yet, regardless of whether one tries to improve their appearance, they could come to the conclusion that other people are more fortunate than them. There is then going to be nothing that they can do.
Or, they will just need to wait until their circumstances change, and it will then be necessary for them to bide their time. Through having this outlook, it could set them up to see themselves as a victim.
Unlucky
Once their luck changes, it will only be a matter of time before they find the right person. Said another way, once they find the right person, it will be a sign that their luck has changed.
What this is likely to show is that one believes that they are nothing more than an observer of their reality. Then again, they might believe that they only have an effect on certain areas of their life.
Awareness
If one started ten businesses, for example, and every one of them failed, they could also say that they are unlucky. Yet, as this has happened so many times and they were the common denominator, it is going to be a good idea for them to look at what part they are playing.
In the same way, if one has a pattern of attracting people who are not right for them, it is going to be in their best interest to look at their own behaviour. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
From the Outside
If one was to come across these kinds of people, it doesn't mean that they will be able to realise what category they fit into. For one thing, there is the chance that they will assume that their appearance will play an important part in how in what is taking place.
Therefore, if someone is attractive, they would believe that they generally end up with the right people. The people who are not attractive can then be seen as the ones who are unable to find the right people to be with.
Another Angle
It could be said that it is to be expected that they will have this outlook, and this is partly due to how much attention is given to how someone looks. There is often the assumption that one's relationships will be perfect if they work on their appearance.
Thus, if they look right this area of their life will go how one wants it to go, and if this doesn't happen, it's a sign that they need to change how they look. Even so, if one was to talk to these people and to put their assumptions to one side, they might soon find out that it is not this black and white.
Unexpected
They could start to see that even though someone looks good, it has absolutely no effect on what their relationships are like. It might make it easier for them to attract people, but that could be about as far as it goes.
Based on how they look, it can allow them to get their foot in the door, so to speak, but after this point, it could be as though their looks are overlooked. It is then going to be similar to how a child can be consumed by a new toy and then as time passes, they can end up leaving it outside.
Another Experience
If one was to speak to someone who wouldn't be classed as attractive, they could believe that their life would be different if they were. Now, there is a strong chance that it would make it easier for them to attract someone, but it is not going to be the answer to their problems.
They would only have to talk to someone who is attractive to understand this, and this might give them the chance to reflect on what they believe. At the same time, they might dismiss what they hear.
The Next Step
This could then cause them to look for a way to improve their appearance, and there is likely to be a number of things that they can do. As to what they do can all depend on how driven they are and on how much money they have.
For example, they could decide to join a gym, and this is going to mean that they will need to have the ability to delay gratification. It might not take long for them to see a difference, but it could take a while for them to transform their body.
A Process
Ultimately, what kind of condition their body is in and how long it takes for their body to respond will play a big part in this. If on the other hand, they were to have surgery; their appearance is likely to change a lot sooner.
And although they have put so much effort into this and/or spent a lot to change how they look, they could find that their life is no different. There will be the pain they experienced before, and the pain they now experience through not being able to change their circumstances.
One More Thing
If one does look good but their relationships are not as they would like them to be, they could decide to change their approach. Alternatively, they could believe that they need to work on their appearance.
This can then be seen as the same as when someone continues to put money into a business even though it is not going anywhere. There is no reason for them to behave in the same way, but as they are unable to detach from what is taking place, this is not going to matter.
The Reason
Yet, regardless of whether one tries to improve their appearance, they could come to the conclusion that other people are more fortunate than them. There is then going to be nothing that they can do.
Or, they will just need to wait until their circumstances change, and it will then be necessary for them to bide their time. Through having this outlook, it could set them up to see themselves as a victim.
Unlucky
Once their luck changes, it will only be a matter of time before they find the right person. Said another way, once they find the right person, it will be a sign that their luck has changed.
What this is likely to show is that one believes that they are nothing more than an observer of their reality. Then again, they might believe that they only have an effect on certain areas of their life.
Awareness
If one started ten businesses, for example, and every one of them failed, they could also say that they are unlucky. Yet, as this has happened so many times and they were the common denominator, it is going to be a good idea for them to look at what part they are playing.
In the same way, if one has a pattern of attracting people who are not right for them, it is going to be in their best interest to look at their own behaviour. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and
'Communication Made Easy'.
To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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